A Distance of Dignity... Not a Severing of Kinship

Mirrors of the Soul

We have never severed a family tie, nor have we ever deliberately concealed genuine affection. Yet, when we distanced ourselves, it was not an escape, but a means of survival from malice; from the envy that some hide behind smiles, and from the hypocrisy mastered by fickle faces, and from hearts that know no path to purity.

We chose distance, because the peace of the soul is more precious than the company of those burdened by tainted intentions, and to avoid a poison that spreads through relationships as smoke spreads through the air—unseen from afar, yet suffocating to those who remain in its presence for too long.

We do not abandon kinship, nor do we extinguish the light of affection that once illuminated the path. However, we close the doors through which harm has repeatedly entered, without apology.

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We distance ourselves from those who belittled our worth, underestimated our status, deliberately sought to deceive us, ignored our presence, and went to great lengths to diminish our standing. Their hearts are filled with envy, and their eyes see you only as a rival in every blessing and a competitor in every success. For some distances are not estrangement, but dignity, by which we protect ourselves from relationships that do not value us as we deserve.

Chivalry has limits, and patience has a ceiling beyond which nothing can be built. Those who believe that kindness is weakness, tolerance is negligence, and refinement is pretension know nothing about the ethics of souls accustomed to rising above rather than fighting, and to keeping their distance rather than being hypocritical.

We are not among those who sever ties, but we are not among those who surrender their dignity in the name of "connection," nor those who submit to harm under the banner of "endurance."

To be compassionate does not mean to exhaust yourself; to be friendly does not mean to be exploited; and to be honest does not mean to be rewarded with your purity being tarnished, your worth being diminished, and your honesty being met with ingratitude.

There are relationships, even if bound by blood ties, that unfortunately are shrouded in an atmosphere of resentment and jealousy, making you feel, while among them, like a stranger who does not belong. Even more painful is realizing that some hearts have lost even the awareness of God in their intentions, no longer weighing their words and actions by the scale of piety, nor feeling that what the chests conceal, God knows before the tongues reveal it.

You find them blessing you publicly, while melting with rage in private. These are the poison of relationships, even if they speak the sweetest words.

But as for those who truly love you, they do not bear you ill will in secret, nor do they wish for you to stumble, nor do they dim your light in their hearts as you shine brighter.

So do not blame us if we elevate ourselves above them. For elevation was never arrogance if it meant distancing ourselves from sources of harm, and avoidance was never escape if it was to preserve dignity.

We shake hands with everyone, but we do not sit with just anyone. We open our hearts, but we close them to those who turn affection into a battlefield of diminishment, appreciation and love into a stage for jealousy, and closeness into a bridge for poison.

Life is short, and the soul is too noble to be wasted in relationships that corrupt its purity and steal its tranquility.

So let us forgive, but without reopening the same doors.

And let us maintain what is sound, but without trampling on places of degradation in the name of virtue.

As we have mentioned, not every distance is estrangement, nor every silence hostility, nor every neglect a severance of ties.

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But some silence is wisdom, some distance is peace for the soul, and some absence… is chivalry. And Ali ibn Abi Talib (may God be pleased with him) said:

"Do not be a slave to another when God has made you free."

And the freedom of the soul is not to surrender it to one who does not know its worth, even if they are among the closest of people.

A Kuwaiti writer