A Distance of Dignity... Not a Severing of Kinship

Mirrors of the Soul

We have never severed a kinship tie, nor have we ever deliberately withheld genuine affection. Yet, when we distanced ourselves, it was not an act of escape, but rather a means of survival from malice; from the envy that some conceal behind smiles, and from the hypocrisy mastered by fickle faces, and from hearts that know no path to purity.

We chose distance because the peace of the soul is more precious than the company of those burdened by tainted intentions, and to avoid a poison that spreads through relationships as smoke spreads through the air—unseen from afar, yet suffocating to those who remain in its presence for too long.

We do not abandon close relatives, nor do we extinguish the light of affection that once illuminated the path. However, we close the doors through which harm has repeatedly entered, without apology.

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We distance ourselves from those who underestimated our worth, belittled our status, deliberately sought to deceive us, ignored our presence, and went to great lengths to diminish our standing. Their hearts are filled with envy, and their eyes see us only as a rival in every blessing and a competitor in every success. Some distances are not estrangement, but rather dignity, by which we protect ourselves from relationships that do not value us as we deserve.

Chivalry has limits, and patience has a ceiling beyond which nothing can be built. Those who believe that kindness is weakness, tolerance is negligence, and aloofness is pretension know nothing about the ethics of souls accustomed to rising above rather than fighting, and to keeping their distance rather than being hypocritical.

We are not among those who sever ties, but we are certainly not among those who compromise their dignity in the name of "maintaining ties," nor among those who submit to harm under the banner of "endurance."

To be compassionate does not mean to exhaust oneself; to be friendly does not mean to be exploited; and to be honest does not mean to be rewarded with the defilement of your purity, the diminishment of your worth, and your honesty met with ingratitude.

There are relationships, even if bound by blood ties, that are unfortunately overshadowed by a climate of resentment and jealousy, making you feel, while among them, like a stranger who does not belong. Even more painful is the realization that some hearts have lost even the awareness of God in their intentions; they no longer weigh their words and actions by the scale of piety, nor do they feel that what the chests conceal, God knows before the tongues reveal it.

You will find them blessing you publicly while melting with rage in private. These are the poison of relationships, even if they speak the sweetest words.

But as for those who truly love you, they do not harbor ill will behind your back, nor do they wish for your stumble, nor do they dim your light in their hearts as you shine brighter.

So do not blame us if we elevate ourselves above them. For elevation was never arrogance if it meant distancing ourselves from sources of harm, and avoidance was never escape if it was to preserve dignity.

We shake hands with everyone, but we do not sit with just anyone. We open our hearts, but we close them to those who turn affection into a arena for belittlement, appreciation and love into a stage for jealousy, and closeness into a bridge for poison.

Life is short, and the soul is too noble to be wasted in relationships that corrupt its purity and steal its tranquility.

So let us forgive, but without reopening the same doors.

And let us maintain ties that are straight, but without trampling on places of degradation in the name of virtue.

As we have mentioned, not every distance is estrangement, not every silence is enmity, and not every neglect is a complete severance.

But some silence is wisdom, some distance is peace for the soul, and some absence… is chivalry. And Ali ibn Abi Talib (may God be pleased with him) said:

"Do not be a slave to anyone other than yourself, when God has made you free."

And the freedom of the soul is not to surrender it to those who do not know its worth, even if they are among the closest of people.

A Kuwaiti writer