A worsening social problem that governments have overlooked

The Noble Quran states in its clear verses: “And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts” (The word of Allah, the Most High, the Greatest).

These two verses are almost always, if not always, the opening by which sheikhs begin their sermons and marriage contracts. Yet, rarely do couples, after contracting their marriage, reflect on the verses and the profound moral, human, social, and educational meanings they carry. The family is the nucleus of society; and the more the family, particularly the parents (husband and wife), is characterized by stability, mutual understanding, and respect, the more the family is enveloped in goodness and blessings, by the will of Allah.

In recent times, there has been an increase in marriage proposals or offers, particularly from women, on social media platforms. We read about cases of girls who have exceeded the customary age for marriage, not to mention divorced women, widows, and those who have missed their chance.

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Marriage, as we often say, is a matter of destiny and portion. However, it is not achieved casually, with a smile here, a glance there, and a passing infatuation, followed by marriage, only for families and friends to be surprised days or weeks later by the dissolution of the sacred bond due to trivial disputes. Then begins the refrain: “Divorce me… divorce me,” without any sense of the gravity of “divorce,” which the Prophet (peace be upon him) described as “the most hateful of permissible things to Allah.”

Young men often fall into seas of sin, finding themselves compelled to choose the most hateful of permissible acts, merely to satisfy the demands of their pampered wives, who are ignorant of the sanctity of the home and the sacred bond that unites the couple in the name of Allah and His Glorious Book.

A recently announced statistic, published on the pages of some local newspapers, indicated that there are 40,000 unmarried Kuwaiti men who have not yet experienced marriage or family formation. I doubt the government is seriously investigating the reasons behind these men’s delay in marrying, given that the number is significant relative to Kuwait’s population. To understand the other side of the problem—namely, women left behind in marriage—there are undoubtedly multiple causes. It was initially assumed that the withdrawal of the nationality law would deter Kuwaiti women from marrying foreigners, but this did not happen, as evidenced by the continued, albeit slower, rate of marriages between Kuwaiti women and foreigners.

In the Arab-Islamic East, divorce rates between couples approach 50 percent, a shocking figure and a social crisis. Governments and social institutions should be concerned with this catastrophic proportion, identifying the causes through official social bodies responsible for studying societal conditions in social and economic terms.

There is no doubt that one of the most important causes of divorce is the lack of compatibility between spouses, and the failure of relevant community associations to devise successful conciliatory solutions.

Most causes leading to divorce stem from incompatibility between spouses. What exacerbates discord and estrangement between couples is also the hypocritical media, which incites conflict, and the farce of defending women’s rights and freedoms.

Women were among the first and most significant victims of so-called women’s rights campaigns, particularly during the Nasser era, when writers, journalists, novelists, and film producers exploited the defense of women’s freedom, as seen in films like “I Am Free” and others.

We, as Middle Eastern Arab society, are victims of shallow and trivial cultures whose aim was to keep society ignorant and incite it against religion.

There are societies, non-Islamic but which hold marriage in high esteem, such as Japan, Korea, and India, and even European societies. It is false to claim that European societies are fragmented; rather, there is mutual respect and sanctity between spouses. The sacred bond upheld by the family is strong, and there is no justification for tarnishing the reputation of stable societies, where each spouse respects the other.

We return once more to the assertion that social institutions, both governmental and private, must set things on the right track. Kuwait’s doors remain open, and what leaves the country far outweighs what enters; thus, we must not be deceived by false appearances. Finally, we say: let the government have a say.

— A Kuwaiti journalist