Abousnada Bulletin for Al-Diyala
The setting is Sheikh Mohammed’s majlis, filled with young men; the time is mid-morning, with the coffee dallah passing back and forth among the regular attendees.
The expert took a sip of hot tea, then set the saucer on the table, flashed a grin from ear to ear, and said: “Folks, today’s lesson, by God’s grace, is titled ‘Grow Your Brain and Clear the Fog.’ In other words, expand your mind… Yes, that’s exactly what I’m telling you.
In this day and age, if you keep your brain active with every passing thought and stray idea, you’ll stand your ground and hold your own. Is clearing the fog a sign of laziness? No, it’s treatment; it’s a broad-spectrum antibiotic.
The elder responded, adjusting his glasses: “What’s your problem with me? I swear, teacher, I just read an Abu Snanada bulletin, three pages long, about brain expansion, and it’s an effective antibiotic for dialogues and debates.
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For instance, someone comes at you with eyes locked on yours, pretending to be a social reformer, but he’s just bringing up a topic you can’t tell the truth from the nonsense. All you have to do is emerge from your shell, take a ‘Grow Your Brain’ capsule, wash it down with a glass of water, and tell him: “You’re right.”
Al-Mu’aqqiq laughed, slapping the table, and said: “The most important thing is that it’s resistant to dizziness and confusion. I’ve used the ‘brain-clearing’ feature on people I know who have nothing but nonsense to say.
The man joined the conversation, nodding gravely, and said: “For your information, the key advantage of brain expansion, gentlemen, is that it helps you digest arguments you’re not convinced by. Because we live in an era where conversations can make your chest hair stand on end. Like someone telling you about a project that will earn you gold in two days, or someone who gives you fatwas on politics, football, and medicine all in one sitting. If you debate him, you get indigestion in your brain, and you sleep on your left side, frustrated.
The young man replied, asking for coffee: “You’re a blessing, sir. You’ve given us the essence of the discussion. The ‘brain-siphon’ is the secret to health and longevity. Don’t tell me about sedatives or sleeping pills. There’s no ‘kanee’ and no ‘mani.’
“What are ‘kanee’ and ‘mani’? This world is spring… The world is spring?
Everyone laughed, and the wires of the wealthy man short-circuited. He said: “We’re all in our ninth month; may God grant us a safe delivery!
At that moment, Sheikh Zaghloul’s call to the noon prayer reached our ears.
$ Kuwaiti writer
