He who does not despair over what he has lost, relieves his own soul.
Dialogues
The Arab sage Aktham bin Safi, may God have mercy on him, is attributed with the saying: “He who does not despair over what he has lost, relieves his own soul.” Despair is sorrow caused by the loss of hope, or regret over what has passed. Among the principles, behaviors, and benefits of not despairing over what is lost, and of bringing psychological peace in this context, we mention the following:
- Not grieving over what has passed: The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “A servant does not attain the true essence of faith until he knows that what has befallen him was not going to miss him, and what missed him was not going to befall him.” No blessing or provision destined for a person will fail to reach him before his death, and no hardship destined for him will fail to occur, even if he hides in a tall tower. The wise person does not grieve over what he has lost from worldly matters, because they were and remain beyond his control, and he cannot manipulate them. His only option, after fulfilling all necessary means, is patience.
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- Optimism is better than pessimism: There is a vast difference between one who becomes pessimistic about a worldly event that happened to him involuntarily, and one who insists on optimism regarding what is destined and inevitably coming his way. The pessimist grieves and loses hope over what he has lost, and his character may become ingrained with pessimism and gloom until he leaves this world. The optimist chooses the opposite: he hopes, strives, and exerts effort to achieve worldly happiness and blessed, lawful provision, and never loses hope in any way.
- Psychological peace is optional: Despite the belief of a person grieving over what he has lost from this world that he is unlucky, must always be burdened, and cannot attain psychological peace in this life, the latter is actually optional. How a person thinks shapes his circumstances, conditions, and his enduring psychological stance toward himself and toward what happens to him in his life. Whoever enriches his mind with hope, positive thoughts, and optimism will inevitably achieve the psychological peace he believes within himself he deserves.
- Despair over missed opportunities for good deeds: The sorrow and despair that are truly deserved are over what a person has missed in terms of saying and doing good in this world. So speak and act in whatever is good to the best of your ability, and you will never grieve.
$ Kuwaiti writer
