God does not limit me to what He wills
The atmosphere in the majlis was tense, charged with talk of expensive gold, soaring prices, and plummeting stocks.
The young man entered, looking annoyed. His face was as hard as a car’s chassis, and he sat beside the elder, speaking in a tone bordering on despair: “Grandpa, today, Mama raised her hands and made this prayer for me. I’m still thinking about it. She said, ‘May God not grant you what you desire.’ Is this really a blessing for me, or is she praying against me?”
The elder peered over his glasses, then lowered them to the tip of his nose, and said, “A blessing? This is a 2026-model blessing. This isn’t a blessing, Faleh; it’s a Katyusha rocket wrapped in a gift box.”
The expert laughed and said, “Please, explain the picture to him. Uncle, everyone else is living in Lalaland, while this boy is trying to help his mother.”
Information Technology
Newspapers
The elder lightly slapped the table and said, “Our ancestors didn’t pray in vain. This prayer has a hidden meaning: ‘Oh Lord, let me return from the market walking on my own two feet, and let no one who thinks he is the savior, like Yokohama, rise against me.’ And if he saw me drowning, he’d give me a lecture on the benefits of drinking seawater.”
The disabled man scratched his head and said, “I swear, Uncle, it feels like today I stumbled upon one of the ‘Quarter’ guys during a rush, and he made me feel like I was asking him for the Central Bank’s vault password, not just a simple loan.”
The expert adjusted his posture and said sarcastically, “Maybe your approach was wrong. Maybe the timing failed you, and you went to him while he was watching a football match?”
The elder quickly replied, “Don’t beat around the bush, O Expert of Zamalek. If you ask him for his help, he’ll ask you, ‘Do you want the right or the left?’ And if you don’t ask him for help, and you greet him with ‘Peace be upon you,’ he’ll file a lawsuit against you for privacy violation! He’ll make you feel like your request is the main cause of the ozone hole and global inflation.”
The majlis erupted in laughter. A man from the far end of the room said, “Listen to the bottom line: If you bring him the sun in your right hand and the moon in your left, and he says, ‘Why didn’t you bring air conditioners with them?’—that’s someone who won’t help you. But if you come to him in striped pajamas with empty hands, and he says, ‘Welcome to the one who weighs the nation’—that’s someone who will help you.”
Then he winked at the young man and added, “And your mother is right, my son. Don’t rely on anyone but God. As for people, keep your relationship with them like a traffic camera: quick snapshots from a distance.”
The wealthy man stood up, stretched, and said, “If you try to put your head down to sleep, you’ll find your mind chanting, ‘Dag Dag Sab’teen, Sab’a Sifr Marra’ayn’ (a rhythmic chant meaning ‘Seven, Seven Zeros, Twice’). That’s the number Abdulghani uses to treat your anxiety!” At that moment, Sheikh Zaghloul’s call to the noon prayer reached our ears.
A Kuwaiti writer
