Wedding Costs and Spinsterhood
Marriage is a sacred bond and a means of provision. The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The women who bring the most blessing are those with the lowest dowry.” This is a legal principle intended to prevent excess in setting the dowry.
However, the current situation has deviated from the norm. Excessive dowries and wedding expenses have become extraordinary, beyond what is customary and beyond the means of the average groom, let alone those with limited incomes. This is driven by a love of ostentation and social boasting, to the point that wedding celebrations have become akin to Hollywood’s “Oscars,” in terms of expensive clothing and female displays, as if the guests and the groom’s family are competing in a beauty pageant.
Huge sums are wasted on beauty salons to prepare the bride and her companions, and exorbitant costs are incurred for the “Daza” (a traditional pre-wedding celebration), including hiring a designer to arrange and decorate it.
People begin to say that so-and-so’s “Daza” was spectacular and elegant. Then come the expensive hotel bookings, the choice of a well-known designer to decorate the “kusha” (reception hall), and the purchase of flowers, perfumes, and gifts distributed to guests, costing thousands of dinars. The groom books a seven-star suite with premium hotel services.
Moreover, wedding invitations must be distinctive, modern, unprecedented, and have a “special code” to convey further luxury. The wedding car is rented from the most luxurious models for the procession, transporting the brides for just a few kilometers and for only one night.
In return, there are the men’s gathering, hotel or hall costs, dinner, coffee, tea, other beverages, and expenses for flowers and “cocoa” (a traditional sweet served at gatherings). Additionally, there are costs for furnishing and equipping the marital home, as well as honeymoon and ticket expenses.
Consequently, wedding costs now rival a commercial venture, or even the purchase of a house or apartment, or the start-up capital for a business. Most young people resort to loans at the beginning of their married life, burdening themselves with debts known only to God, which are deducted from their salaries for years. Marriage is a project for a successful life; why turn it into a losing, costly endeavor that deters many young people from even considering entering this union, despite government support through marriage loans?
The solution lies in societal understanding and empathy, returning to simplicity, and making things easier for people, without caring about what others say or trying to please them. In just two days, thousands of dinars are squandered on feasts and invitations, while the groom, bride, and their families suffer losses. Marriage becomes a door to spinsterhood rather than a door to provision and blessing.
A Kuwaiti lawyer and doctor of law
