Marriage... Luxuries Have Become Essentials!

Marriage is a source of stability and tranquility for the soul. God Almighty says: “And among His signs is that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may dwell in tranquility with them, and He has put love and mercy between your hearts.” The phrase “that you may dwell in tranquility with them” (lit. “to find rest in them”) rather than “with them” indicates stability in conduct and calmness in feeling, thereby achieving comfort and peace of mind.

Ibn al-Qayyim, commenting on this verse, stated: God, Glorified and Exalted be He, bestowed this blessing upon His servants by making women a source of rest for men, so that their hearts find peace in them, and by establishing pure love between them, namely, affection accompanied by mercy.

Thus, the marital relationship is fundamentally built on mutual emotional and psychological rest, serving as a haven for the soul and a relief for the mind. However, in recent times, there has been much discussion about young people’s reluctance to marry due to various reasons, which we will attempt to address.

There are numerous challenges facing young people that affect marriage, such as differences in values and expectations, influenced by media and social networks, as well as economic pressures and the high cost of living and housing expenses. These are all stressful factors. Additionally, there is a lack of communication skills, as many couples do not know how to discuss or express their needs. The Ministry of Justice acted wisely by mandating a “pre-marriage qualification course” for those intending to marry. This is of paramount importance, as it helps prepare individuals psychologically before marriage, fostering maturity in couples and enabling them to overcome obstacles they may face in the future.

Official data issued by the Public Authority for Civil Information revealed that more than 30,000 male and female citizens over the age of 40 have never married. Undoubtedly, this figure is significant, particularly in a society like Kuwait. Among them are 10,806 men and 19,462 women, meaning that the number of unmarried women exceeds that of unmarried men by approximately 8,656 cases.

There are many reasons for the reluctance to marry, including financial factors. Many young people cannot afford the expenses of married life and family, leading them to postpone marriage until their financial conditions improve. The economic aspect is an influential factor and may be the most impactful.

However, many negative trends have begun to infiltrate marriage, to the extent that luxuries have become necessities. The influence of social media has had a significant impact, opening the door to blameworthy boasting among people. The fear of public opinion has become a major factor, causing individuals to appear inferior to their peers, which drives families and young people to incur debt or delay marriage.

Young people’s reluctance to marry due to rising costs makes them hesitant and fearful of debt and the financial burden at the beginning of their lives. Couples often start their married life under the pressure of installments and loans, causing continuous stress and problems that may threaten family stability.

Another foreign element in these times is the excessive extravagance in “daza” (traditional wedding gifts) and at many current social occasions, which imposes a heavy financial burden and psychological and material pressure on the young man and his family due to inflated costs and ostentation. What was once a simple traditional custom expressing joy and the groom’s family’s appreciation for the bride—where gifts were sent in the evening without anyone knowing their contents and without photography—has turned into a competition to display luxury boxes, expensive designs, and brands, some of which are ordered from abroad and photographed. This pushes some young people to take on debt and loans to start their married life with heavy burdens that follow them from the very first day.

All of this contradicts the Prophet’s tradition (peace and blessings be upon him), who said: “The marriage blessed most is the one that is easiest in terms of cost.”

The essence of marriage lies in tranquility and simplicity, and these ostentatious displays must be rethought. The greater responsibility falls on women, who are the primary cause of excessive expenses and boasting, as they have turned luxuries into essentials for the sake of showing off—resulting in young people’s reluctance to marry.

The writer Ali al-Tantawi stated: “Marriage is built on compatibility in thought, behavior, social status, and financial standing; only after all of this does emotion come into play.”