Mental Maturity

Some people suffer from distress, not because they are mentally unwell, but because we live in an unjust world due to the behavior of those around us, which is often characterized by foolishness and baseness. This leads some to respond in order to put them in their place, while others prefer to distance themselves after having discovered their true nature.

How painful it is when stabs come from those you have brought close to you, whom you have served in various ways, only for them to quickly deny their connection to you and even seek to undermine you, first silently and then openly.

Those who possess mental and psychological expertise, along with life experiences, hold an important quality that makes them strong in facing people: the trait of mental maturity.

One of the most beautiful outcomes of maturity is when a person’s curiosity about others narrows, while their awareness of life broadens. They no longer care about those who have changed or left, what they said about them, or how they live. They do not pry behind doors that have not opened, because they realize that an unnecessary glance into others’ lives may lead to negligence and could drag them into a world they do not wish to inhabit.

Indeed, a person should focus on repairing themselves rather than trying to fix others, except perhaps for some close family members, especially children, by offering advice and suggestions for their benefit.

Yes, life is harsh and unfair, filled with various types of people. They are generally of three kinds. The first are passersby who enter your life briefly, taking only what they need. As soon as difficulties intensify or winds change, they leave.

The second type consists of seemingly steadfast individuals. Despite their apparent strength, you must test them before relying on them completely. They may stay with you for a few seasons, but they will separate from you when life becomes harsh.

The third and final type is strong individuals who are of utmost importance. They do not seek attention; all they desire is to support you and help you live a strong and healthy life. Even in times of hardship, they stand by you, loving you for who you are.

Yes, that is the reality of life and the multifaceted human psyche. Dealing with these different types will put you in various states of joy and sorrow. But do you want to know what is the most sorrowful thing? It is that we live in a world full of hypocrites who wish for your failure without you having harmed them, yet they smile in your face as if they love you. At that point, you will say to yourself: If I were to live my life again, I would not change anything about my kindness and spontaneity, except that I would be more cautious when dealing with such flatterers.

It is not a flaw to have a kind heart; rather, one should be gentle with all people. However, sometimes my excessive kindness causes me problems too, because excessive kindness is nothing but extreme naivety. I have learned that it is not my duty to fix what I did not break. I used to fear losing people, but now I fear losing my time if I live according to others’ opinions. I will never become the person I wanted to be, and people will never stop talking, neither about you nor about others.

Yes, life is very short. Now, in my seventies, I strive to enjoy every day, every hour, and every moment. I cry only when necessary, alone and away from the eyes of those who wait for my downfall. Despite this, I never allow anyone to discourage me.

The only value I never want to lose is my dignity, or rather, not letting my mood be ruined by trivial people over trivial matters. As I grow older, my desire and attachment to things diminish. I also realize that as I age, the number of people around me will decrease. A mature mind cannot tolerate lies or conspiracies from others.

I may have lost money or something else, but that does not matter as long as I do not lose myself. In fact, I am well, because I have discovered those things I did not care about in past years.

Indeed, people are of different kinds, as are their behaviors, convictions, and temperaments. Yet there are those who work and make noise, and there are those who work in silence. Some leave after creating a commotion, while others depart quietly, calmly, and suddenly.

The man who moves in silence is one you should not mess with. He has witnessed betrayals, fake smiles, and empty promises. For this reason, his circle of acquaintances is small, because not everyone deserves access to him. He does not chase attention, nor does he waste words trying to prove himself while others boast about plans they may never execute. Instead, he simply does what needs to be done, in profound silence. His strength is not loud; you sense that he observes, thinks, calculates his steps, and knows precisely who is sincere and who is merely pretending. When someone crosses his boundaries, he does not argue; he simply removes them from his world.

Loyalty is rare, and he values it above all else. Betrayal is not something he forgives, nor something he ever forgets. Some mistakenly believe his silence is weakness, assuming he will not respond. But those who make this error do not get a second chance to correct it. A man like him does not inspire fear unless you give him reason to treat you differently. He has no need to utter a single word, even though he is fully capable of deterring you and causing you harm. If that day comes, you will understand why.

An old Swiss proverb, shared with me by a Moroccan friend I met during my recent visit to Cairo, states: “If the driver is blind, it does not matter how comfortable the first-class seats are.” In other words, following someone without insight will lead you to the edge, no matter how sweet the promises. Look to who holds the helm before you rejoice in the beauty of the journey.

Try to find happiness within yourself, not in the outside world.