The Beautiful Human Lebanese Marriage
I spent part of this summer between Lebanon and the Turkish region of Marmaris, and the best of those days were my active participation in the activities and the wedding ceremony of Hutham Al-Muslem to Margherita, a Maronite, in both Lebanon and Turkey. It was a distinctive event by all standards, as it manifested humanity, tolerance, and love, all embodied in the beautiful relationship between the bride and groom, and in the unprecedented, unparalleled attendance at the wedding ceremony, with its joy and societal acceptance, and even with some reservations, it is hard to imagine such smooth occurrence anywhere other than Lebanon, the only country many Kuwaitis wish to be united with forever.
The celebrations began first with the Islamic ceremony, which was solemn and calm, led by a cleric who delivered a serious yet amusing sermon that was well-received by all. Everything proceeded without ostentation or prolonged rituals, and the marriage contract was signed without pretense. The next day, we headed to the Maronite Syriac Church to attend the ecclesiastical wedding ceremony, which was somewhat more complex and lengthy compared to the civil registration, but it was more varied, joyful, and vibrant. It featured beautiful voices, prayers, music, and hymns. Women wore their finest attire, while men were at the peak of “Lebanese chic.” All of this took place in an atmosphere filled with love and tolerance, devoid of any negative emotions.
A few days later, accompanied by the bride and groom, their families, relatives, and friends, we moved to the Turkish resort of Marmaris, where we spent unforgettable days that will remain in our memories for a long time. It began with the artist and singer Jad Shwair officially registering the couple, Hutham and Margherita, as “spouses for life” in a civil ceremony. This took place at dusk, perhaps the most beautiful dusk in the lives of everyone present at that lovely occasion.
“Leticia,” with her Mona Lisa-like smile, which alternated between appearing and disappearing on her radiant face, played the role of the maid of honor, as she is the daughter of the bride’s uncle, her lifelong friend, and the son of her “goddaughter.” “Ahmad,” the groom’s brother, served as the best man. But what is the linguistic origin of the word “ashbeen” (best man/maid of honor)? And what does it mean? The words “ashbeen” and “ashbeena” originate from Syriac, specifically from the term “shushbeena,” meaning guardian, protector, sponsor, or agent entrusted with specific responsibilities. In the West, the best man is known as “The Best Man,” and the maid of honor as “The Best Woman,” with the naming convention being Scottish in origin. In Arabic, they are referred to as “al-waseef” and “al-waseefa,” although the word itself carries other meanings. Their selection and role are among the most prominent traditions of the church wedding, and these groups of close friends and family members often form an essential part of wedding celebrations, helping with event planning, providing moral support, and standing by the couple on their wedding day.
In ancient times, the groom’s companions were warriors who protected him from hostile relatives, while the role of the bride’s attendants was to ward off evil spirits. Although some consider these roles mythical, their origins are actually more practical than imaginary, with the idea of involving trusted individuals in wedding ceremonies dating back thousands of years. In many ancient societies, marriage was not merely a relationship between two individuals but also a legal, religious, and social agreement involving families and communities, as weddings represented important social bonds that others often witnessed, assisted, and participated in. The term “bridesmaid” first appeared in English in the 16th century, and “groomsman” emerged a century later. Their responsibilities varied according to the time period, culture, and social status.
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In any case, we all spent unforgettable days at a unique wedding, rich with beautiful memories, and filled with love, harmony, and happiness. Beirut and Marmaris provided a spacious setting for this event and for the gathering of love and tolerance among everyone. My gratitude to the families of Marmaris, and my love to “Mar Charbel.” Ahmad Al-Sarraf
