Behind the Curtains of Cold Silence

These words are not meant for debate, but rather to set things right, after silence has accumulated until it became heavy. A person may go through a phase in which they feel a profound shift in their details; they no longer find that spontaneous joy that used to fill their days, and they notice a silent extinguishing within themselves whenever they look in the mirror—a strange mark resembling a scar left by a storm that suddenly passed over them. They may find themselves standing in a gray space they never thought they would reach. They look at their details and find they have changed, and contemplate themselves, seeing that much of their lightness has been lost. A silent lump in their chest, and a disappointment that makes no sound, yet destroys many things within them. This transformation does not always occur because of a clear incident that can be pointed to; rather, it may be the result of small, scattered actions that accumulate slowly until their impact becomes too heavy to ignore. A person may remain silent because they lack clear evidence of what they feel, or because they do not know how to describe that distress that quietly seeps into them. Here begins the meaning of cold silence; silence that is not devoid of speech, but also of frankness. Behind its curtains, matters are orchestrated but left unspoken, while the person bears their impact alone. At that point, they realize that the true things in life do not require a firm grip; possession and control do not create belonging, whether exercised through hidden force or by imposing restrictions under various labels. True belonging comes voluntarily and arises when one finds safety, but it flees immediately when one feels trapped behind the scenes of orchestration. Ultimately, no one has the power to fully control another person. Hidden attempts may succeed for a while, and things may appear calm on the surface, but truths do not remain hidden forever. As soon as they are revealed, what they left behind in the form of doubt, what they destroyed in the form of trust, and what they changed in the human soul appear as well. Some people may justify their actions with good intentions, believing that a righteous end grants them the right to interfere in others’ lives, arrange their steps, or direct their decisions without their knowledge. But good intentions, however sincere they may seem, do not make every action correct, nor do they erase its impact on the soul. A person may intend good, but take a path that harms others, restricts them, or deprives them of the right to understand what is happening and choose what suits them. Harm does not always come in the form of harsh words or open confrontation; it may be a quiet, unseen pressure, or a decision made elsewhere, or steps that appear separate but lead a person down a path they did not choose. They feel that something around them is changing, and that their space is shrinking, but they find before them nothing but calm and the suggestion that everything is normal. Therefore, the impact is deeper; because the person does not face the action alone, but also faces the ambiguity surrounding it. Perhaps the strangest aspect of this is that this hidden orchestration is coupled with an appearance of faith and tranquility. Trust in God and having a good opinion of Him presuppose a serenity that makes a person more honest and clear, not more preoccupied with drawing the lives of others behind their backs. The meaning of trust in God is incompatible with having paths arranged in secret, and then claiming that the matter has been left to God; whoever leaves their affairs to God does not need all these backroom maneuvers, nor does he need to move things away from the eyes of their owners. If words had been placed in their proper place from the beginning, and intentions stated clearly, the impact of the truth would have been more merciful than the weight of doubt. Frankness, though difficult, gives a person their right to understand and choose, whereas hidden orchestration leaves them alone to face effects they feel, without knowing their source or finding an explanation for them.

And these are the curtains of cold silence: an outward calm, with much activity behind them; words unspoken, intentions undisclosed, and actions justified by good intentions, without regard for what they left in the human soul. When those curtains are drawn back, it is not only the truth that is revealed, but also the cause of that extinguishing, which began small and spread in silence until it changed many things. And in God we trust, and by Him we seek help.