The Fashkha Disease!
Wealth syndrome is a social malady that does not afflict the body, but rather the image we insist on projecting to others.
We often complain about the stereotypical image of the Gulf Arab: the moment his identity is known, expectations—and sometimes prices—skyrocket, as if he hails from a world that knows nothing of installments, obligations, or month-end financial constraints.
But before we blame others, perhaps we should ask ourselves: who drew this image in the first place? We are societies that love beauty, generosity, and good appearance, and these are inherently fine qualities. The problem begins when “the beautiful” becomes a social obligation, and when the ordinary becomes something we are ashamed of.
Occasions are no longer times for joy, but stages upon which we must dazzle others. The arrival of a newborn may transform from a warm family moment into a fully coordinated project involving flowers, gifts, hospitality, photography, and styling, as if the child will not be welcomed with love unless welcomed with a hefty bill. The bride may begin her married life carrying the burden of a single night: a hall that must be the most luxurious, a dress that must be the most expensive, more flowers, and grander photography, because there is always someone who married before her, and someone who will compare after her.
Even travel, which is supposed to be a source of relaxation and discovery, has become for some another social exam: Where did we go? Where did we stay? What did we wear? And in which restaurant did we take the photo? A person may return from vacation laden with beautiful memories... and with installments that outlive them!
Then come loans to bridge the gap between what we can afford to live and what we want people to believe we are living.
A car larger than needed, a celebration beyond one’s means, a handbag worth a month’s salary, and a trip requiring months of repayment. Not because people always have money, but because they sometimes fear appearing as if they do not.
This is where the danger of “flexing” lies: when we repeat this image long enough, others believe it. The world sees us from the outside and assumes we are all wealthy. Then we are surprised when unfair judgments are built on this impression. Some employers may view the Kuwaiti employee as if a fair salary is not a priority for him, because he is (supported by the state), or because his car and clothes suggest he has no need!
No one sees the loan behind the car, the installments behind the trip, or the anxiety behind the beautiful image. We have polished the facade so much that others have come to believe the facade is the entire house.
We are certainly not a poor society, but we are also not a mythical people born in an oil pond, sleeping on piles of gold, and unaware of the meaning of financial responsibility. We are simply a society that loves beautiful living, generosity, elegance, and honoring guests. But there is a vast difference between loving beauty and fearing appearing inferior to others. The problem is not our insistence on beauty, but borrowing to prove something to people who will never help us repay the debt.
A final whisper... perhaps it is time to live without pretense! And to realize that true wealth is living a life that resembles you, within your means, without feeling compelled to present a social statement of account that proves your worth.
Prestige is not bought, dignity bears no brand name, and a person’s value is not shown in a wedding bill, the class of a travel ticket, or the type of car they drive. As for peace... it begins on the day we stop funding the image and start living the truth and the moment with all our senses.
