Raising children is the responsibility of the parents

The home is the first school from which a child graduates, where his or her role models are the mother and father, and where the child observes their behavior, words, movements, and stillness. Parents are the primary role models for their children. Therefore, parents must fear God in their treatment of their children: they must not use obscene language in their presence, nor speak falsehoods before them. A child records, interprets, and listens, and these influences shape his or her personality. A son always desires to emulate his father in appearance, posture, sitting and standing, speech, and even actions. Thus, parents must serve as role models for their children. How can a father who does not pray command his children to pray, and expect them to comply? Or a smoking father who smokes cigarettes in front of his children and then forbids them from smoking—will they obey his command? Or a mother who does not pray yet orders her daughter to pray, or a mother who is improperly dressed—will her daughter consider wearing the hijab, or will she imitate her mother? Role modeling is the foundation for raising God-conscious children. Parents must observe their child’s behavior to guide, warn, and correct him or her when they stray, and inquire about them when they are absent. For instance, a mother should wake her child for the Fajr (dawn) prayer, and upon his or her return from school, ask about the Dhuhr (noon) prayer. If a mother hears her child lying, she should reprimand him or her and explain the severe consequences of lying, noting that it is a sign of hypocrisy. If she hears her child backbiting a classmate or friend, she should clarify that such behavior is forbidden. Similarly, a father should befriend his son’s righteous peers, walk with those who pray, and avoid deviant individuals, because a child is influenced by his or her friends. Parents must monitor their child’s movements: where does he or she go, with whom does he or she associate, and how does he or she spend free time? The Prophet Muhammad (peace and blessings be upon him) commanded us to keep company with believers and avoid the wicked, saying: “Do not associate except with a believer, and let no one eat your food except a God-conscious person.”